Lessons I’ve Learned from “Dooms Day”

Every year couples around the world celebrate the day they became one – their wedding anniversary. But, I’m actually blessed that Gerard and I have two anniversaries to celebrate, October 15^th (our wedding anniversary) and January 9^th (Dooms Day).

You might be wondering, “What the heck is Dooms Day?”

Well, it was the day that led me to my counselor’s couch, clutching the armrest as I sat emotionally numb and broken. The day God ripped the bandage off of the union of two imperfect people in order for proper healing to take place. Stirring up a true change in both of us so He could use our story to help others. The day I actually contemplated the big “D” – Divorce. (You can read the whole story on my blog “For Better or Worse.”)

But a year later I can truly say God is simply amazing! Because of our obedience to Him in a very difficult and dark season in our lives, we survived. Now, we can celebrate the anniversary of our Dooms Day.

Last week as this day approached, I didn’t know what to expect. I for sure wasn’t expecting a gift like on our wedding anniversary. But then as I started reflecting over the last year it dawned on me, I did receive a gift. It wasn’t one Gerard could go buy and would eventually lose its value. Instead, this gift is invaluable and has the capacity to go with me throughout life.

Are you curious yet to what I received?

Well…I received a gift of lessons. They’re my lessons learned from “Dooms Day!”

So this week, I want to share with you five lessons I’ve learned with the hope one day they can help you through your Dooms Day. Now, your Dooms Day may not be related at all to marriage. It could be the day you lost a loved one unexpectedly, the day you lost your job, or the day you experienced some kind of devastation.

These lessons (corny or not) all start with D so that they’re easier to remember!

Lesson #1 – Make a Decision. Making a decision is sometimes one of the hardest things to do. Especially when it can mean the difference between life and death. The main decision I had to make was to become a victor rather than a victim. Just because something happened to you doesn’t mean it has to define you. It’s up to you to decide your title. {Isaiah 41:10}

Lesson #2 – Deepen my relationship with Christ. I understand some who read this aren’t Christians or even understand what Christianity is, and that’s okay. This is why I’m freely sharing my story. See, if I wouldn’t have given Christ a try, I can honestly say there is no way I would be standing in victory today. I encourage you to open your heart and give Him a try. He has this undying love for you and wants to walk side-by-side on this journey called life with you. {Romans 8:38-39}

Lesson #3 – Deal with the root cause. So many times we deal with the effects of a problem rather than the cause. It’s kind of like being worried about a pimple, but not dealing with the bacteria under your skin. Understanding why something has manifested in your life requires you to put in the hard work. Simply putting a patch on the problem will only lead to temporary resolve. But dealing with the root cause will provoke everlasting change. {Lamentations 3:40}

Lesson #4 – Devote to a new normal. Change is one of the hardest things to maintain. One of the things Gerard and I had to do was create a “new normal” for our relationship. We devoted to rewriting the narrative of our marriage and committed to operating differently so that we could have the life we always wanted. Old habits die hard, but to overcome any kind of pain, you may have to change your approach in order to maximize the results. {Isaiah 43:19}

Lesson #5 – Declare the past is behind you. We all have a past and bring baggage into any kind of relationship. Truth be told, there were things that hadn’t been dealt with revealed on Dooms Day. It’s easy to succumb to our past and let it define us. However, when you declare that you will no longer stay stuck in the shame and guilt of whatever’s in your past – you unlock a new and restored future! {Philippians 3:13-14}

Can I be honest with you? Discovering the gift of these life lessons wasn’t easy at all. It took having to go through the darkest season in my life to see them for what they were – invaluable. Making me realize that beauty and blessings are sometimes on the other side of devastation.